Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
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