can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
