Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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