do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
