Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i already hear my dad disowning me
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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