The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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