the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
only you would photoshop your dick
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
