did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
