Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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