found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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