hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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