I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize