what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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