I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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