SEEEEXXX PLEASE
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
