i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize