I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize