Kiss
Puke
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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