At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
