that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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