Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
God gave him joint rollers for hands
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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