amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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