Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize