dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize