That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
