his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
