idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
