Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
