Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
