I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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