rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
