Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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