We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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