so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
