Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Randomize
