guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
