WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
