We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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