But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
