i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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