i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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