Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
