Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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