Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i will never coherently bang her
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
