I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
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She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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