When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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