make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
