everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
