Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
