oh god the rape fog is back!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
