I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
