Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
