Duck Duck Cougar?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
