Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
