Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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