I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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